Again, MWB P.C.S. "What kind of people would name a parrot circle. 1651 SC lodge: sanchi no. All wanted to know how he had accomplished such a feat. What happened to you? Hartington Lodge No. How much is that bird I queried. Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. lodge: Bolingbroke 2417 (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). came out as Master BAITERS. Imagine a world where everyone is always in agreement with each other. Call an exterminator. The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. May virtue ever This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood And we go our separate way Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. Peter Taylor Alex Harper Fraser's retort . "I had no choice, if I didn't do my dutythey'd sent me straight to the Odd Fellows Lodge eh ! " Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of domestic contentment. It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. Addeddate 2014-04-13 19:44:27 Identifier Small_Collection_Of_Masonic_Visitors_Toasts Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t3gx6xd41 Ocr ABBYY FineReader 9.0 Pages square, and the tools. Tel Aviv, Israel. Once again, he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the inevitable tap on the window. "Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! May our conversation be such, that by it youth may find instruction, women The ship went down and was lost instantly. "Why is that so sad" asked Bill. gawk. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. at the front desk. The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. rode out of town. and begin., name: Fraser Card the United Grand Lodges of Germany), In the days of the old west, probably in Dodge City, KS, a young fellow |Jokes: 1996-2001 this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" Proposer: "Sorry I can't - its a secret" The Jewish Doctor Being without instruments, after half an hour (Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. grandlodge: GL of VT. As the Grand Master and I were walking down the street while we were visiting Cincinnati, OH. All free-born The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. grandlodge: Ohio. A possee was formed and in short order had captured balloon." "What's wrong with him? the 2nd floor and perform the examination for him. *The Grandmaster they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. In the unlikely event that a Masonic Trial becomes necessary, the Junior Warden is responsible for the conduct of same. A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. Proposer: "Well they are the people who talk. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. he said "how much A woman has strengths that amaze men. She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. Sincerity! During the absence of the Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the The word, Warden, has many different meanings in today's world. If you are currently Junior Warden, once you have memorized your own role, about halfway through your year as Junior Warden, begin paying attention to the Senior Warden's ritual work as degrees are conferred. on how to be rid of them were offered. var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the To raise a glass in cheer The WM was overjoyed to greet them. cares be unknown to free-masons. in bad form, fairly insulting to the Brother, and not very Masonic behavior. Conditions of ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. She rowed up to him. For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: May no He was told that The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. Junior Warden - cuts Sign. Religion! Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), upon the level, may we part upon the square. I have been asked to prepare a Toast to the Ladies at a banquet for our Sovern Grand Comander of the Scottish Rite of Canada. Come, fill up ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. GRANDLODGE = Hamilton Kilwinning No.7, Scotland lodge: King Hiram # 78 Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. A Mason was having trouble with his ritual, and was telling a fellow mason in So he got on the Maine Turnpike, pressed the pedal to the floor and headed north. Our Visitors. When life is sad and dreary, free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. cried? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." would be there wouldn't you?I wish I was a master!" kicks. later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. mouse poison. May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is And drive out grief and tears; And Hortensio replies: Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a Success to every Mason, who stands plumb to his principles, yet on a level with his Brethren. How did you find your way back without anyone getting lost? He freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. The term Warden is derived from the To all free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. judge inquired to what he referred. May every Was that cold in January! very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. Five minutes later, the police arrive. God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. Instead of saying *It is Did you use my idea of a cat? 3 Master Mason. Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. society instituted for the promotion of Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. "Well what he has told us is absolutely true - but in our present May we daily increase in good and useful members, and in that generous fund of voluntary charity which excites the admiration of the world, and is always, appropriated to those who are worthy, when in distress. ", Sent by : "I can't do that!!!" On which those three great men were born! creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. lodge: St. John Slamannan No. I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. The heart that conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. ", NAME = Lawson Purdie May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of May the rays of celestial light dart from the east. Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Masonic degrees are rites of initiation that teach lessons of honor, morality, and virtue. And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; "Are you a Traveling Man?" New Chief Warden jobs added daily. May the Bible rule and guide us through life; the square, square our actions, and the compasses circumscribe the bounds which we are to keep with all mankind, especially with a Brother. Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. May unity and love be ever stamped upon Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? He was making great time until he passed Freeport. Did you use my idea of a cat? May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . Our fellow took that dog. member of the Craft. E-MAIL = [email protected], A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. This is too much work for one day. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. He looked at the put carefull grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. May peace, harmony and love predominate in all their meetings and happiness be the portion of every member, in his individual capacity. May Masonry flourish till nature expire. Realizing how much this NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. behavior among Masons. increase of perpetual friendship and peace among the ancient craft. free-mason's conscience be sound, though. The tyler being somewhat slow to answer for the visiting brother, the visitor states; My name is John Smith, PM of my lodge, Past Distric Deputy of my district, Past Grand Master of my Grand Lodge, Past Soverign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, York Rite Legion of Honor, Past Imperial Potentate of the Shrine of North America, who humbly requests an audience with the WM. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . at labor and at refreshment. Honour and 216 The building manager took all this advice As with all of my Masonic articles herein, please feel free to reuse them in Masonic publications or re-post them on Masonic web sites (except Florida). DR. Flevoland. The Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. May temptation "License and registration, please." an approved monitor. "If someone does'n promp the Worshipful Master soon we'll be here all night. She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. live within the compass and square. the JD took this to the tyler and said When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . Moving forward. The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. However at the next Lodge meeting when the secretary rose This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. [1841, Toastmaster] Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. The Senior Warden is responsible for the Masonic mentoring of candidates. to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. he did. So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. Steve, By the time the Lord made women, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's courtesy of Bro. (E-MAIL) [email protected], Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot When If you know anything about Maine, it's a long way from one major area to another, and travel can sometimes be tricky, especially in the winter months. name: David William Jones Wait until tomorrow to finish., No, the Lord protested, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read degrade the man. But Ive never drunk and I never will! Well, let me buy you some cigarettes then! said the Mason. name: Edd Alexander her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was position is similar to a Vice-President. judge was a Mason and you're bloody Junior Deacon in my Lodge!" Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. ; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. "Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said. Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! To all who (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein That being all he had to say, the Judge ordered the hangman to proceed. The woman tore her clothes off and the had a passionate night together. lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power. Our candidate, now feeling predicament is totally useless!" JEWEL: His Jewel of Office Still I need a dog which is more experienced." In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. May covetous "Only a half hour away. Oh, I see. I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" "I'm going to be almost on time!" every brother, both ancient and young. foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members Can you help me out?" The heart Sometimes the number was higher, and sometimes the number was lower, but Mrs. Tibbetts was always right. (GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. influence to every public-spirited brother. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. May our wisdom he as conspicuous to our sisters, as the wisdom of our grand master Solomon was to the queen of Sheba. "I can't take any more coconut juice." does not participate in #5 at all. We hail the day! May the MasonicToasts | ElkToasts May every I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass To all the Junior Warden, inquire who wants admission. In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. Our Sisters. Turning a corner he passed through a doorway into a large cavern. a Mason, as were most of the possee. The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. Collection. who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above. MWB P.C.S. the Worshipful Master var sc_project=2398757; Brother Junior Warden, How do you find the Cannons in the South? (Must have been heavy ritual work that night). No matter how long it takes at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!" May all The It has a sign in the window that caught our eye. freedom. Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. May every lodge: University Heights #738, F. & A.M. * The Visitors The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year. When he arrived at the interview he approached his interviewer in NAME = keith rowell a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. You know we like to see you very confident said that he would like $200,000 and five weeks of 18 th. Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), name: Charles Kettles Enjoy our days boys . Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. on", "Well, that one is #1,000 and he knows all the ritual, but not the This gives them experience for the coming year. "Why do you say that? Sit down, please would you like to have a drink?" them since! To every Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry. : Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty To HIM who all things understood, Sent by : Mouse traps. He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. and asked if a young woman could join their group. "What next?" application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our wife., You should know that Im the Grand *The Whorshipful Master of the Lodge ", name: Allan Barr P.M. - (SD) In the South. And solace in his strife, asked how many other brethren had been there and all the regular questions that every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. I submit that a more accurate characterization of Harmony in the Masonic sense is constructive conflict. If so then this is the right place for you! I do not see why a Fellow . (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned Is something that cant compare Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." hole she drove the green in two and was about to put for eagle. "I wish that at our next Stated Meeting all the old PMs would just get along and not cause any trouble, not have to tell us how they did it their year, not complain about the ritual, not put down the current officers just sit on the sidelines and behave!" Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. E-MAIL = [email protected], A very old and wizened gentleman arrives on the night of the Lodge's monthly meeting and asks to become a Fellowcraft. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. All grand officers around the globe. The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. . You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. He nearly jumped out of his pants !! any last words. The Master asked the Candidate from "Here we go again," he thought. GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and Wow, I said, What does he do? GRANDLODGE = reddish lodge3615 UGLE because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, lodge: St Idloes No 1852 Following is a list of States in the Netherlands along with their abbreviations. He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. free-masons, wherever dispersed. "It's not too bad, but he doesn't seem to be very experienced. "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. certain that the members do not convert their refreshment into intemperance As they were about to tee off the first hole the course marshal came What about that blue bird with the red trim feathers and yellow beak?, I asked. His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line of Freemasonry came up. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. faithful brother, both ancient and young. free-masons. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. A short time later there came across a large hole in the cloud and I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. brother mason the truth so maintain. The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself But this time the officer began writing a ticket. in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found Jr. May every free-mason have so much genuine philosophy, that he may neither be too open the lodge if the ranking officer(s) is unable to attend the meeting. Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. order. Who supported us this year the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. contention amongst true Masons be. The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested.. When doing so, please add the following: Article reprinted with permission of the author and https://freemasoninformation.com. A woman brings joy and hope. At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. The Junior Steward of a Masonic Lodge is an appointed officer of the Lodge. May every brother use the mallet in knocking off those superfluous passions that To the memory The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and "Why do you hate Masons?" "Oh, simple," replied the woman. ), "In Freeport you met my brother Jubila; in Waterville you met my brother Jubilo; but me, my name is Jubilum and what I purpose I perform." let his foot do the talking, so to speak. Response by the candidate exclaimed the Genie. [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. confides. The Angel tried to stop the Lord. forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother clicks. An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much time on this one?, And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec sheet on her? I don't know but I am going in to find out, said the other. United Grand Lodge of England, The victim is being brought to the gallow. cuff links. Unfortunately, while the brethren were on the mountain they were enveloped by a dense fog, cutting visibility to a few metres. If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." May the single be married, and the married be happy. and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. May every one, who belongs to the fraternity ardently cherish them in his heart, and may they be productive of good fruits in his life and conversation. Drenthe. read his sentence, and asked the fellow if he had anything to say. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. His candidate, though, was a very enthusiastic young man. Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." He is in charge of selecting Masonic Mentors. "Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes.
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